I saw this comment on twitter a while back, and it got me thinking:

"Have you ever noticed, that those of us who tweet more, generally talk more in real life?"

Some people do seem to talk a hell of a lot, so much so that they don't even have time to take a breath, let alone ask you if you have an opinion on what they are saying. Sometimes I just watch in awe waiting for the person to remember that I am sitting across from them. Are they even aware that I exist? If I were to disappear, would they just keep on talking?

Perhaps this is their way of trying to please me, just as I listen intently to try and please them?



So I came up with this graph: The extreme talkers are those people top left. The people top right have it sorted. Don't even ask me about the people bottom left, they must be unhappy, or extinct. I, of course, am bottom right.

I am not always the listener, however. In certain, albeit rare circumstances, I am the talker, so I got to thinking that maybe there's this sliding scale where the people who talk less, listen to the people who talk more:



But I'm not happy with this. Just because I came across my Virgo star sign attributes at an early age and inadvertently coerced my personality to suit their recommendations of "modest" and "shy", putting myself at the lower right end of the spectrum, doesn't mean I have to spend the rest of my life paying for such a mistake by listening to everyone else ramble.

Then I read some gold dust in a book about social interaction. The problem, it seems, is that I keep asking questions all the time. I ask, and they answer... and then curious about something else, I ask another question, and they answer. So to solve this conundrum, all I have to do is wait for them to finish answering, and then tell a short anecdote about myself containing some personal information, (the personal information gains their trust, and makes them think they know me, which in turn is supposed to make them curious about me) and finish on a corresponding question about them - simple.

While I mulled over this solution in my head, it occurred to me there would be many advantages. For one, it would mean that those conversations I attempt with people who happen to be at the same position as me on the chart would be more interesting, as we wouldn't just be staring at one another, daring the other one to speak first... and it would mean that during those conversations with misfortunate souls who are unlucky enough to be even better listeners than myself, we wouldn't be running out of conversation within seconds.

However, trying this out with talkers, it turns out there is much I need to learn. I give my short anecdote and end on a personal question, and they are off like a shot, delighted, as though they've been waiting all their lives to be asked this particular question, running like a dog towards a flying stick and I'm forgotten about again.

I am making progress though. I am moving higher up on the talking chain. You may notice when you meet me: I will try and tell you a story about myself, amidst a blush that won't register on your radar, but my systems will be registering "mayday mayday, we're going down, evacuate, evacuate..." You will save me by telling me a long winded story about yourself, and I'll paste a pretty smile on my face and yawn inwardly with gratitude.